GOT PRODUCTS? I’VE GOT…
Strategic + Fun AF Copy for bold quirky cheeky against-the-grain brands
It’s crowded out there. I know you didn’t build a business to blend in.
You know you have to stand out, but your joints just don’t have it in them to learn another TikTok dance.
With my help, we’ll zhuzh up your copy with your zesty personality to keep your audience excitedly nodding along the second they enter your world all the way through your checkout page.
With a market saturated with fly-by-night copywriters and AI-generated crapola content, you deserve copy that actually does its f*cking job.
Copy that strikes at the heart of your prospect’s innermost desires.
That builds a community of loyal superfans chomping at the bit for your next product launch.
And seriously stands out in a sea of copycat content.
As busy as you are, you want someone you can trust to get it right. You don’t have time to waste on a long, drawn-out process that leaves you wondering if your copywriter ghosted you…again.
Get copy that builds authority, commands attention, and keeps it – all on a VIP timeline
Because busy founders like us get shit DONE.
EMAIL COPY IN A WEEK
Welcome, warm up, and win over your audience with standout subject lines and magnetizing stories so they actually look forward to getting your emails (the ✨dream ✨).
By mixing the best parts of your brand + offer with research + strategy, we’ll create emails that are targeted, relevant, and attract your best-fit customers so they’re screaming, “Take my money!” come launch day.
Let’s give your readers exactly what they want (and need!) to hear – so they don’t just take your lead magnet and run.
The best part? It’s all done in a week.
Here’s what we can accomplish in a week:
- Evergreen Email Sequence
- Welcome Sequence
- Sales Sequence
- Email Newsletters
STARTING AT: $1500
THIS IS FOR YOU IF:
- You’re ready to build or optimize your sequences to make the most of these critical touchpoints.
- You want to zhuzh up your emails to highlight the best parts of your brand personality while improving engagement rates.
- You want to be the reason your reader smiles at their email notifications like they just got a juicy text from their BFF.
HERE’S WHAT YOU GET:
- In-depth, 90-minute strategy call
- Plug-and-play emails formatted and optimized for conversions
- 1 round of complimentary revisions
- A special surprise or two to help you stay on top of your email game
SALES COPY IN A WEEK
You’ve got a proven offer and you’re ready to hone in on your messaging to hit your best-fit client right in the feels so they’re scrambling to swipe their AMEX.
❌ No sleazy sales tactics here
✔️ Conversion-focused
✔️ Strategy-backed
✔️ And full-of-fun copy so they’ll actually read your sales page – even if it’s crazy long
INVESTMENT: $2000
INCLUDES
- Customer survey/interviews
- Custom brand questionnaire
- 90-minute strategy call
- Long-form sales page and/or emails formatted and wireframed for conversions
- 1 round of complimentary revisions
PRO TIP
If you need both sales page copy AND the emails to go with it, book 2 VIP weeks!
24 HR COPY POWER UP
(aka the quickest way to get my brain on your biz)
Maybe you’re not ready for a copywriter just yet (that’s okay!), but you’d love a second pair of conversion-trained eyeballs on your existing copy.
Whether you want to pepper in some personality, ensure you hit the mark on your messaging, or just need some damn clarity on your first millionth draft – this is for you.
In 24 hours, you’ll get a video walkthrough along with a checklist of action items so you can implement everything straight away.
Here’s what we can audit in a day:
- 5 web pages (done on live website to test for UX)
- Email flows audit
- Sales page audit
INVESTMENT: $500
HOW THIS WORKS
- Schedule your audit in my calendar
- Complete the questionnaire with all the details about your piece
- Kick back and relax. Have a margarita or two – you earned it!
- The day after your scheduled audit, you’ll have all the goodies to power up your copy to perfection
THE GOODIES
- 60-90 minute strategy call
- Video walkthrough of my analysis
- Checklist of action items
- Confidence and peace of mind knowing your copy was touched up by a pro – without breaking the bank
"I can now confidently say I have a trusted copywriter - which is such a load off my back.
The quality of her copywriting shows me that Janelle genuinely cares about my business. And she's brought up ideas and strategies that I hadn't thought of before. Janelle was so patient, guided me through revisions, and helped establish a streamlined system moving forward.
Overall, I feel very taken care of and I am over-the-moon happy with the end product.
![carley denboer standing on the beach](https://i0.wp.com/scarygoodcopy.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/IMG_8700-Carley-DenBoer-1.jpg?fit=%2C&ssl=1)
COPY DONE IN A WEEK, SRSLY?
here's how it shakes out
1 Vibe Check
We hop on a call to determine if a VIP service is right for you. If so, you’ll book your very own VIP day on my calendar (usually 2-3 weeks out).
2 Kickoff Call
I’ll collect everything I need ahead of time with an in-depth questionnaire and strategy call – but don’t worry, it’s not anxiety-inducing like the SATs. It’s just all about you, your business, and your offer (easy peasy). Then, I’ll lay out a strategic plan and direction for your messaging and I’m off to the races.
3 VIP Sesh
Me? Furiously typing on my keyboard, surrounded by everything I’ve collected from you. And you? Well, you deserve to kick back with a lychee martini (If you haven’t had one, omg you need to.)
4 Delivery
My professional copy editor and I make sure your copy is polished and primed for posting. By the end of the day, it will be sitting in your inbox along with a video guiding you through implementation so you can publish your shiny new copy straight away.
No drawn-out project timeline.
Just straightforward deliverables on a crystal-clear schedule
A COPY PROJECT EXPERIENCE FIT FOR A BUSY CEO 🖤
what you get
An in-depth 90-minute strategy call where I collect everything about you, your offer, and where it fits with your goals so your copy is aligned AF.
Your shiny new copy ready to drop into your ESP or website as soon as it hits your inbox so you can truly (madly) deeply engage with your audience and reap the benefits – stat.
Me + my big brain on your business for a full week. No distractions. No tom-foolery. Just me putting fingers to keyboard to produce the BEST work possible (Oh, and my editor, too. 😊)
Guidance for implementation so you know EXACTLY what you need to do with your copy. No extra neurons required on your end!
you're not a regular brand. you're a cool brand
And since you’re a cool brand, I’d be honored to work with you.
Whether you have a physical product, a digital product, or an exciting new program, I’m here to help you freshen things up.
Brands I’ve had the honor of writing for:
- Coaches
- Clothing brands
- Personal trainers
- Bathroom deodorizers
- Sports recovery solutions
- Copywriters (yes, sometimes copywriters need copywriters too)
- Homemade bath & body brands
- Mouthwatering mints
- CBD brands
- Workout supplements
- Restaurants
Drop me a line or two about you and let’s work together.
"Janelle is a collaboration DREAM.
I never had to worry about deadlines, I never worried about communication or being stuck with subpar deliverables. Janelle knocks it out of the park every time without fail.
She's witty, intelligent, and a high-level thinker who asks the right questions to get stuff done right. I can't wait to do another project with her.
If I were you? I'd hire her immediately."
![](https://i0.wp.com/scarygoodcopy.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Dianna-Candido-Copy.jpg?fit=1374%2C1208&ssl=1)
let’s get your copy done right
With my big copy brain coupled with a thorough and streamlined process, we’ll tackle your copy project in a way that doesn’t feel like “work”.
I only book 1-2 VIP slots a month
I’m hashtag blessed to have repeat clients who work with me on an ongoing basis. And those projects take up a chunk of my availability. So don’t wait to book your copy project!